Everyone Hates My Squarebody — Perfect.
I knew what I was getting into when I posted my 1989 Suburban-turned-pickup project on r/RoastMyCar on Reddit…
I even asked for it: “Kill my dreams.”
The internet didn’t just kill them.
It dragged them behind a truck, lit them on fire, and saluted while they burned.
Here’s just a taste of the wreckage:
• “Just why? If you want seats and towing, buy an SUV. If you want a bed, buy a truck.”
• “Tesla Cybertruck yeehaw version.”
• “Damn camper special — you got enough room on the back of that thing to host midget wrestling.”
• “You know Chevy makes trucks, right? It’s called ‘SiLvErAdO’ — might’ve saved you a bunch of work, time, and money.”
• “That’s your dream? That’s like dreaming of dying of cancer.”
• “Buying an Avalanche would’ve been cheaper — and you wouldn’t be getting harassed by squarebody fanboys.”
• “What you’re doing is unholy vehicular necromancy. That thing was rusting in peace. What have you DONE?”
• “You’ll regret sucking down all those gas fumes.”
• “First time you put too much weight in the bed, the doors won’t open. Or worse — they’ll open but not close. Your dream will be dead then.”
• “No need to kill your dream — that thing’s already killing itself.”
• “Who needs sex anyway.”
• “If you wanted an Avalanche, you could’ve just bought one instead of destroying a good Suburban.”
• “It appears your dreams are already dead.”
• “I have a Chevy crew cab for sale…”
• “It looks like you pulled it out of LA right after the fires.”
• “That never-ending project will be the real dream killer. Once your wife and dog leave you and the kids disown you… at least you tried. Meth chicks will still love it though — because any man driving that thing must have a fat rock in his pocket.”
• “This shit looks like it did three tours in Iraq. Thank you for your service, headass.”
• “I’m hoping you swapped the engine, because a truck with less than 200HP won’t do shit.”
• “The ‘Who Needs Paint’ 2000.”
• “You’re adopted.”
• “It a nightmare!”
• “That’s your dream? Geez, it’s like dating that greasy hippie chick with crooked teeth and armpit hair.”
Brutal?
Absolutely.
Discouraging?
Not even close.
Because buried deep between the punches was one comment that actually understood what this is all about:
“Too much work already to let go. Too much left to finish. Consumes gas, tears, sweat, and blood. I hope it will produce equal amount in smiles and good time.”
That right there? That’s why this thing will keep going — rust, hate, gas leaks, and all.
Building something stupid, stubborn, and unapologetically mine was the dream all along.
And no matter how many roasts the internet serves up,
you can’t kill a dream that’s already on fire.
